compartmentalization: creating boundaries between dissonant ideas, a way of unravelling tangles – one thread at a time.

 

It’s a mess, truly – this world of twisted limbs, this world of cohesive contradictions. Beauty and hideousness. Intimacy and isolation. Calm and conflict. Destruction and renewal. And upon this infinitely complex macrocosm, among the billions of other creatures, I exist – a marvelous coincidence.

These eyes I was given open wider than I sometimes think reasonable and are assaulted and entranced by the magnificence unfolding around them. They are confronted by the tangled snarls of life, steadily feeding long, twisted bundles of ideas backwards into my mind. Oh, how readily my mind absorbs it all, relishing in unraveling all the mysteries presented – relationships, science,hatred, loveliness, disaster, my own self. I’ve always loved puzzles.

This awareness of and addiction to the messiness around me, coupled with an ability to feel things deeply is both incredible and terrible. I often find myself overwhelmed; like bits of plastic in a great oceanic gyre, my thoughts collect, circulate, stagnate, and I begin to suffocate.

And this is why I compartmentalize – to create order. Rather than attempting to ignore the conflicts and questions, this is a way to deal with them in bite-sized chunks. Life does not present itself in little neat pieces; it is everything all at once and this is is why it is both beautiful and terrifying.

It’s a bit contradictory, my appreciation for both messiness and order, but I think they are complementary ideas, co-dependant even. Without messiness, there is nothing to organize, and life has little flavour. I find discord incredibly inspiring, if kept in check. 

Through writing, through art, through music, I can do that:                                                                           externalize, isolate, and focus on a single thought,                                                                                           unwinding it from the rest while still experiencing all the                                                                             lovely chaos. I can find balance. And then, I can finally begin                                                                       to understand both life and myself.

 

So, hello and welcome

to this little curation of thoughts.

I hope you find either

catharsis or confusion – enjoy!

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